To say this past summer has contained a lot of changes would probably be the biggest understatement of all time. There really isn't any part of my life that has not been touched by some sort of change. It was just over 16 weeks ago that we received our life-changing news; that our first child, a baby girl, would be born with not only Down syndrome, but also a congenital heart defect that would require open heart surgery at just a few months of age. It wasn't long after the news that we made the decision to move closer to our friends and family, knowing that we could not do this alone. We found amazing real estate agents, sold our soul to Wells Fargo, house-shopped like crazy for a couple of weeks, bought a house, lost that house, then found and purchased an even better house. We packed up our lives, said good-bye to Hudson (our home for the past 7 years) and moved into a great little split-level house in Vadnais Heights. I can't sugar coat moving because....it just SUCKS, I really don't have any nice words for it. But we got through it with the help of amazing family and friends and here we are, 6 weeks later, settled in and loving life in our new pad. Our dogs think they died and went to heaven, loving the new space in the house and a beautiful back yard just for them. The nursery is pretty much complete and only a few random boxes of stuff we obviously don't need remain packed in the garage. I stated above that there really isn't any part of my life that hasn't been touched by change. Not only did we move into a new house this summer, but I also moved at work as my school district opened a new family center in August. I thought the only familiar place I would have to go to would be my parents house, but they completely remodeled the lower level of their home this summer, so that place feels different too! I thought I would have a hard time adjusting to all the new places I am now living, but its been great. It feels like Joe and I have lived in Vadnais for years. Our house instantly felt like home and we don't reminisce about our Hudson house ever. We just love it here! And our neighbors have been wonderfully welcoming. Everyone has come over to introduce themselves, some have brought over fresh-baked bread, and just Saturday the two cutest little neighbor boys came over with a beautiful homemade cake and told me, "our mom made this for you because you are new in the neighborhood." Our immediate next door neighbor is super helpful and is teaching Joe the ways of home ownership and yard maintenance. I just LOVE this neighborhood! It is the perfect place to raise a family. Here are a couple pictures of our new place:
On closing day!!
The view from my patio:
Our beautiful backyard...Piper LOVES it!
A few weeks ago, I had another baby shower at my mom's house. It was another beautiful day with many friends and family coming out to celebrate the upcoming birth of baby Fiona. We received many wonderful gifts. It was definitely a girlie shower with lots of pink and lots of adorable clothing and accessories. I cannot wait to dress her up in all of those cute outfits! My mom also gave me another amazing gift for the nursery, a beautiful wood glider with comfy pink cushions! And my husband contributed to the party by carving a watermelon and other miscellaneous fruit into a little baby in a cradle. Love him.
Joe creating his masterpiece!
The fruit baby!
My amazing baby shower cake:
Last weekend we had our housewarming party. It was a chilly September day, but we had a great turnout and an even better time! I think we probably had 40 plus people stop over during the day, including friends, family, neighbors and coworkers. Joe was able to proudly show off his bar in the lower level and our most-loved backyard. I was able to proudly show off Fe's nursery, soaked in pink and everything girlie. I know not everyone loves the traditional pink for a baby girl, but I don't care. I love it anyways! Our families helped to make a lot of great food for the party and I drove back to Hudson to pick up a keg of our favorite beer, Spotted Cow.
Fiona's room!
And last, but not least, Joe's baby: the bar
This Friday marks 36 weeks for me. That means in about 4 weeks we will finally get to meet our baby girl, Fiona Grace. The anticipation is building like crazy. I cannot wait to hold her and finally have her here with us and start out lives together as a family of 5 (can't forget our fur babies Piper and Sonny). I am continuously amazed by all the love and joy Fiona has already brought to our lives. This past weekend we did the "Stepping Up For Down Syndrome" walk in St. Paul around Como lake. This is an annual fundraiser for the Down Syndrome Association of Minnesota. A while back I mentioned the walk in a blog post and was overwhelmed by the amount of people that said they wanted to walk with us. As the day neared, the number increased, and this past Sunday we did the walk with almost 2 dozen friends and family there to support us and baby Fiona! WOW! I just never imagined that kind of support and she isn't even here yet!! Because I was put on bed rest, a mile and a half walk was just not in the cards for me, but I was able to borrow a wheelchair from a friend and Joe pushed me and Fe the whole time, so we were still able to participate.
Here is a great picture of our group:
To our friends and family that were able to make it, you have no idea how much your presence meant to us. We understand that not everyone was able to make it, but we still appreciate all the support and especially donations to our team! We raised over $400 for the Down Syndrome Association of Minnesota, an organization that will surely be a part of our lives from here on out. We look forward to next year being even bigger and better, especially with the extra special presence of our guest of honor, who will be almost one year old by then!!
As I write this post, I am on day 5 of modified bed rest. In the past few weeks, I have been going to my perinatologist weekly for these tests called "biophysical profiles" and "non stress tests". These are weekly test to monitor the baby's development and continued health in-utero. The non stress test monitors her heart rate and movements over a 20 minute period. I get to lay around for 20 minutes with 2 monitors on my belly, listening to her heart beat with a little clicker in my hand. Every time I feel a kick or roll, really any big movement, I have to click it. The biophysical profile is a test done by ultrasound and takes about 30 minutes, depending on the cooperation of baby. On this test, they look at muscle tone, movements, practice breathing and fluid levels. Overall, they score the baby on a scale of 1-10, giving 2 points for each area. To date, Fe has received all 10's at her appointments! Last week, mommy didn't get such a great report. After an almost 7lb weight gain in one week (think fluid and swelling) and increasing contractions at work, my doctor told me I needed to, "cut down on work...to zero". They ran some extra tests due to some other pre-eclampsia red flags, and in the end, my labs looked OK and my blood pressures have been OK too, so they are just watching everything closely. Since I have been on bed rest, I have lost all that extra fluid weight and have no longer been having contractions. So I am guessing bed rest is working! I wasn't ready to be done working and have had a lot of guilt about leaving work behind for my colleagues to do, but I have been told not to worry about it, so I am working on that.
I have been so blessed this year. I feel like a broken record, talking about it all the time, but I just can't say it enough. And I especially have to mention my mom here. Our parents have been very helpful with the move and getting settled here, but my mom has really stood out, especially in the past few weeks as I have been getting closer to my due date and increasingly less mobile, topped off with my bed rest orders. Since Joe has been working a lot and going to night school two nights a week and trying to keep up on fall yard work and home repairs, my mom has been coming over almost daily to help me around the house. When I was strictly off my feet last week, she came over and washed clothes and dishes, vacuumed, and went to the grocery store for me. She has been helping me get ready for this baby, making sure I have everything I need for the hospital and every thing I need to bring Fiona home. I don't know where I would be without her.
Me with my mom at my shower
I also wanted to mention a new part of my life that I am really loving: all the new connections I have made with other mom's and families of children with special needs. Over the past months, but especially over the past weeks, I have connected with a lot of new people. Some I have known from the past but never spoke with much, and some are new people that I have met through friends, parent support groups, or through online forums and communities. Either way, these "new" people have enriched my life and brought me great comfort and hope for the future. Even people that do not have a child with special needs in their lives have reached out to me over the past couple months with kind words and support. I really love the new connections being made in our lives and look forward to building those connections and relationships with Fiona by our side.
On a side note, I want to talk about something that has been frustrating me. I have been hearing a lot lately, "I would never do an amniocentesis because it wouldn't matter the results, I would love the baby anyways." Although I agree with the idea of "loving the baby anyways", I am hurt by what a comment like this implys; that others that DO have an amnio are doing so because they want the option of termination and may not love the baby if they end up testing positive for a genetic disorder. When I received Fiona's diagnosis of Down Syndrome, I was hardly halfway through my pregnancy. I remember when the doctor used the word "termination" with us and I remember how the thought of it took my breath away. Fortunately for us, although it was spoken of, we were never pressured to terminate and were offered a lot of positive and hopeful information immediately from our doctors and genetic counselor. We were not pressured to do an amnio either, but we made the decision to do it, not because we were considering termination, but because we felt that as parents, we just needed to know definitively so that we could prepare ourselves as best as possible. Fiona is truely a gift from God and a gift that was meant especially for us. As we are just a few weeks away from meeting our baby girl, I could not imagine life without her.
I posted this earlier in our facebook group, but I wanted to post it again in case someone reads this that did not see my facebook post. October is Down Syndrome Awareness month. I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their constant love and support and for allowing yourselves to be open to learning more about Down syndrome. When we first received our baby girl's diagnosis, it felt like our hearts stopped beating...like someone kicked us in the stomach and we couldn't breathe. It was very painful. And although days still come where we worry about the future, those days are fewer and far between and we have come to terms with the future and are learning how to embrace the differences and challenges that are coming our way knowing that with those will come great love and joy. And although Fiona will technically have Down syndrome, it does not define who she is as a person or who she is in to us, in our lives or the lives of our friends and family. Thank you ♥
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